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From Rabbi Michael Levy: Thank you for your recent JDIN offering,

4 Essential Strategies for Teaching Neurodivergent Students

It could not come at a better time of the Jewish calendar.

Long before professionals and inclusion experts roamed the earth, a group of sages speculated about the most important single child-centered event of the Jewish year: the Passover Seder.

What are the four sons featured in the Haggadah if not children who approach the world of learning in different ways.

The wise son wants to know everything. Downside

does he crowd out others? Does he say, “my way or the highway?”

The poor wicked son

Could his supposed “wickedness” come from a sense of discomfort?

. What at the seder is making him uncomfortable?

Maybe he has a metabolic “divergence.” He needs to use the bathroom but has been told in no uncertain terms that NOBODY leaves the seder table. This is, BTW, against Jewish law.

Maybe his neuro-divergence is more manageable when he is home. The seder happens to be outside the home. Nobody took his needs into account—not out of malice, but for lack of education.

At the seder table

Are there looks and glances that make HIS STYLE OF LEARNING appear inferior?

The shame of being dissed can last a lifetime and propel a child far from the Jewish orbit.

Sometimes he succumbs to the blandishments of hip neuro-divergent Christian ministries.

The naive son: I happen to like him the best.

He says, “What’s going on?”

Could his statement mean, “My brain can’t handle all these stimuli. There’s too much text on the page for me to manage. I wish that I could use ALL my senses and not be forced to rely solely on the visual. Why do THEY insist on reading ALL the text, and mumbling through the songs that make me the happiest?

The child who does not know how to ask

Why doesn’t he know how to ask?

Perhaps it’s because (and this is a personal bias,) the “experts” have been TELLING HIM. They HAVE THE STRATEGIES. They ADVISE THE PARENTS. They ASSUME THAT HE NEEDS CERTAINTY AND GUIDANCE AT ALL TIMES.

If they would just stop shepherding him for a moment, maybe aspects of himself that he didn’t know about would emerge.

You open for him—ott ptach lo---

Give him an opening where he can just BE, like the nondisabled experience routinely.

These four “sons” exist within all of us, and can change even from moment to moment.

A lucky open-minded caring parent intuits this and educates his/her child “al pi darko”—according to the “derech” on which the child happens to be at the moment.

My dad would yell at me, realize that he had overdone it, and come back being Mister Funny Man, which was his way of saying “we’re still friends, right?”

The Carrot and the Stick—the Stick First

If I speak here with harshness, I am speaking not for myself, but for the thousands of Jews with disabilities who do not realize that they have their own voice and that they have a right (as created in the Divine image behind that oice) to express it.

I respect your experience and you have more on-the-ground knowledge of disability than I may have.

Your use of the word “essential” has an unintended effect. Its subliminal message is that if one does not use this “essential” strategy, there will be some kind of irreparable damage.

Whites do not tell non-whites what is essential for them.

Men do not tell women what is essential for them.

We who have disabilities are a minority. The nondisabled majority have no right to tell us what strategies are essential for us.

Various well-meaning counselors and relatives tried that “essential” approach with my parents. My parents listened, analyzed, sifted, and most often used what THEY considered was essential. If you yourself are a parent, you are aware that there is a sacred space between parent and child that should be free from “essentializers.”

Write “helpful.” Write “valuable.”

You can’t write “evidence-based” or “proven” because the strategies aren’t.

Did you ever consider that the same strategy that helps one neuro-divergee may harm another? Some thrive on colors. Some overload on colors.

What is our goal as the guardians of the body and soul of a child?

Is it to enable him to “be himself” “bechol yom bechol ait uvchol sha-ah?” To make HIM the center? To give others around him the impression that his NEEDS ALWAYS COME FIRST?

That kind of child at age 18 will be ill-prepared for the transition to a meaningful career and a genuine marriage relationship.

Challenge To Gateways

Conduct an evidence-based longitudinal study.

Where do these neuro-divergent beings end up at age 30? At age 50? In old age, when they face end-of-life challenges?

Is Gateways brave enough to conduct such a study and act according to its results?

It is a core value of Yad Hachazakah that the non-disabled world should avoid labeling whenever possible.

Certain labels are medically essential.

Neuro-divergent is NOT one of them.

I am blind. I am neurodivergent. If the neurodivergenters really valued me, they would provide their own material in a format that is accessible to me.

Solutions exist.

Some involve emerging avatars and other technologies.

, others are as simple as already existing telephony.

Where’s the Money?

Impose a voluntary accessibility tax of $5 on memberships and affiliations. Develop a legacy fund to be administered by qualified open-minded individuals who can balance their personal fiefs and agendas against the needs of the Klal.

When neuro-divergers conduct sensitivity sessions, eager participants emerge-- walking around you with too much delicacy.

It is important that the world respect our choice of how we identify ourselves.

It is crucial that the neuro-divergers get the inside story about disability from those of us who have lived it 24 hours a day.

Seventy-two years ago, my far-seeing parents decided to treat me just like my brother, and later my sister, to the greatest extent possible. My chores and rewards were commensurate with theirs. I took sides, usually with my sister against my brother. We fought. We made up. We held grudges. Most of all, we hid things from our parents. They never knew how that tomato juice stain ended up near the ceiling.

Through my parents, I have been blessed beyond measure with a career, and most of all with wonderful children.

Who knows twelve? I know twelve. I have twelve grandchildren, all of whom figure out with me how to relate to my blindness, or not.

If any of the above seems harsh, there is underlying love. Why shouldn’t all children have a chance to develop as they need to develop, learn as they need to learn, be joyful and sad as they need to be joyful and sad, but in a world that isn’t built with them at the center?

Will JDIN post MY VOICE for me because the mechanism to do so is inaccessible?

“All who are hungry, let them come and eat. All who are needy, let them come and celebrate Passover in THEIR WAY, with what The Almighty has given them.

After Passover is the time to change.

I look forward to a 5786 when Gateways b=blends its initiatives with the knowledge and experience that we who have disabilities are ready to share.

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Leslie Golding Mastroianni's avatar

Beautifully written article in which a practical plan is laid out. I saw in my own work as a counselor the need for this type

Of thinking. Well done!

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