Another Summer, A New Challenge
by Rafi Josselson
In Summer 2023, I had the opportunity of a lifetime—to participate in and help guide a pilot program at Camp Ramah in Nyack focused on supporting neurodiverse staff members. It was incredible. I gained valuable experience, built meaningful relationships with my campers, and helped strengthen the camp’s approach to neurodiversity. Still, I felt like something was missing: a social connection. So when I returned to Ramah for Summer 2024 as a residential counselor, I wanted to do a few things differently.
Ramah isn’t your typical day camp. At most other day camps, the staff go home at the same time as the campers. That is not the case at Ramah. Instead, staff stay at camp; they are residential – living, eating, and sleeping in on-site dorms. But it isn’t just living there. There are numerous mandatory and optional activities each week. Some are educational such as elective limmuds (lectures/interactive lessons). Others are designed to connect American staff with their Israeli contemporaries (there were over 80 Israelis this summer!). Many of the activities are designed to be fun such as a staff-wide talent show or cardboard boat race (more about that later).
Working at Ramah can be a lot for a neurotypical counselor, so it was exciting for me to pilot the types of support a neurodiverse counselor might find beneficial. In my opinion, the best support put in place was Cortney Kuperman - my point person, coordinator, or supervisor. She was both there to support me and as she loved to point out, just be a friend. This was my second year in the program. This past summer, as the only participant in the program who was a residential staff member and a counselor, I was able to further cultivate a unique relationship with Cortney, and define what I wanted her support to look like. I felt like a pioneer this year, setting the groundwork for myself and hopefully others to succeed in future summers as residential staff members.
What did our relationship look like? Well, we had both informal and formal check-ins. First, almost every morning we’d talk for at least five minutes, and then later over lunch. We could talk about a variety of topics – my job as a counselor, my social situation, planning out the week, coping with sensory challenges, and more – once she even helped me deal with AMC customer service. This barely scratches the surface of the work we did together. What was incredible about this support system was that it was a collaborative effort. I don’t think it is accurate to say she told me what to do. And I don’t think it is accurate to say that I told her what I needed. Sure, there were times when that occurred, but through discussion and friendship, we accomplished a lot. And I will say that building a relationship like that, one of genuine friendship, was key. When you look at the cover image for this blog you’ll recognize that one of the images used is of us trying “acro-yoga”, a type of exercise our Israeli contemporaries taught us.
Social Connections
A week into the summer, I had achieved a lot of what I wanted. I had a room with nice roommates, thoughtfully chosen by camp leadership. I was comfortable with my co-counselors and my edah (age group). But, I was nervous about socializing with the broader camp. The easiest way for me to socialize is through planned events. Thankfully, the structure of the post-camp day schedule is perfect for that: I can watch a talent show on Monday, participate in a limmud (learning) session on Tuesday, take a night off and relax at home on Wednesday and, braid challah on Thursday.
But this was staff week. I had done a lot of preparation, but dealing with this challenge couldn’t be “planned”. It needed to be tackled right on. And so, during a camp-wide program called Leil Machane (usually a fun program), I decided to be my edah’s cardboard boat racer. Now part of this was sensory, I was the only one willing to go in the pool at eight o’clock at night; but also, it was part of my personality. I take risks. And I listened to myself, and I was screaming “Try it!”
It ended up being very successful. Even though my boat was poorly constructed, I still felt like a hero. People were cheering me on – screaming my name. Part of it was because I looked ridiculous: garbage bag wrapped around my waist, cardboard surrounding me like armor, dodgeball held tight between my legs – but, I think a lot of that support was because I represented something. See, days before I spoke in front of the staff to explain what it was like for me, as a neurodiverse staff member, to be a counselor. I talked about my social difficulties, sensory differences, and trouble maintaining my energy. And yet, for all of my challenges, I stressed the raw joy I get every summer at Ramah: ad-libbing Shabbos songs to Nitzanim (my edah), singing at Zimryah (a yearly song festival with all campers and staff), and getting a bullseye in front of my bunk. It’s a blast! As one of our hanchalah (senior staff) had said – it was time to step out of our comfort zone.
I found myself challenged to socialize at almost every turn this summer. Shabbat is special no matter what Jewish camp you go to, but Ramah’s unique blend of camp day and staff day makes the experience even more memorable. After a week of working, it is nice to just sit back and relax. To eat with your friends. To dance during Kabbalat Shabbat. To stay up all night with other staff from your edah for a tisch (dessert and games). However, I didn’t participate in zmirot (songs). This was due to the sensory cost it took. But as Cortney repeatedly pointed out, Saturday night zmirot was my speed, so I joined for the last one of the summer. She was right. It was a moving experience. I only wish I had done them sooner, something I can plan for next summer.
The other thing I noticed was an error I made in socializing. I was too broad. I tried to become friends with all of the CITs (counselors my age), and by the middle of the summer, I realized that I was only connecting with a few of them. By the time I refocused my energy on cultivating a relationship with some people, it was too late to achieve the level of socializing I wanted. But, I still have a foot in the door and, given that the people I am connected with are likely to return, my work is not for nothing, next year I hope to become closer to them.
Camper Connections
Last year I reflected on working with campers, so I won’t focus as much here but some highlights included working with one camper to overcome anxiety regarding thunderstorms and helping another to form a healthier relationship with his mom. But, the most important story I’d like to share is that of Tisha B’Av.
It wasn’t a hot Tisha B’Av (a fast day where we commemorate the destruction of the second temple) so I decided to fast. I didn’t eat food on the previous Tisha B’Av, so I decided to up the ante and abstain from drinking water as well, a bad move in retrospect. Throughout the day I deteriorated. At first, it wasn’t so recognizable, but soon, my campers began to catch on. As we entered the Ulam Sport (a gym in camp) I began to feel faint. It was hot. It was noisy. It was not good. One camper stopped playing. He ran up to me and begged me to go to the nurse. Now, I wasn’t listening to my co-counselors, my roshes, or even my coordinator Cortney, but, if there is one thing you need to know about counselor Rafi – he’ll listen to his campers. This was the push I needed to finally take care of myself. This camper, and frankly all of my campers because they all seemed to agree with him – made me proud. I worked hard to teach them the values of empathy, kindness, and helping others. Even when they were opposed by their counselor, they weren’t shy about doing the right thing. Writing about it now makes me tear up, because this last part is where it makes it even more impactful. This was the second-to-last day of camp and it happened to be this camper's last. Since this happened towards the end of the day, I didn’t have an opportunity to see him again. And so, this will always be my last interaction with him as a camper. That being said, I can’t wait to see him (albeit not as my camper) next summer. And I know the first thing I’ll say to him: thank you.
Sensory Sensitivities
Sensory overloads remained a challenge this summer. I dealt with a lot of them. They came in many forms. Sometimes it was a sensory strain, getting overwhelmed after dealing with a lot of sensory input over a long time. But more common than not I would get shutdowns – where my body would completely freeze but I’d shake uncontrollably. It happened a few times. The most notable was after a concert at camp. It was too much for me and I left early. I began to de-stimulate myself, but, as I have pointed out in my blog (Sensory Stories), I did not account for that process being interrupted by my peers arriving back from the concert. That process being disturbed was disastrous and I headed into two back-to-back thirty-minute shutdowns. Thankfully, between the first and second shutdowns, I contacted Cortney, and she came to help me. Similar shutdowns happened throughout the summer and they aren’t really that notable – I’ve touched upon them in my Sensory Overload series (here is part one). But, what was unique about the summer was how my peers helped out. They quickly learned that I needed space and someone to check on me. They also understood that I would be ok if given this space and support. It was still challenging, and one night I did lose my temper when some wouldn’t quiet down, but overall, I can give nothing but praise to my peers.
I also had to manage my energy levels. The camp week is long. Each day is exhausting. Back-to-back activities, emotional management, and for me sensory control, can be draining. In the afternoons, I’d either drive home to shower (and sometimes eat dinner) or shower at camp and eat dinner. Then there would be activities. Thankfully, most of these activities didn’t require much out of me, but when they did, I could go at my own pace or take a break. At the beginning of each week, Cortney would meet with me to go over the post-camp schedule. We’d plan out when would be the best time to take breaks and how to manage a longer schedule. She also shared with me the dinners for each week so I could determine which days I should eat at home and which days at camp. Overcoming this challenge was no visible feat, instead, it was invisible – listening to my body and taking breaks.
Now, those were a few thoughts from this summer, but what about next summer? I know I’ll be back. Ramah has been such a transformative experience for me: helping me grow socially, Jewishly, and humanly. I have built bonds that will last a lifetime and have gained skills that will benefit me going forward. Here is to another summer dancing on the migrash, swimming in the pool, and forming meaningful friendships.
Rafi Josselson is an autistic senior at the Leffell School in Westchester County. Rafi has spoken at multiple places across the Northeast including; Solomon Schechter Day School of Bergen County, Temple Israel Center, and, the Charles E. Smith Jewish Day School. He also has written blogs for MATAN, for his website, and for Jewish Disability Inclusion News. He is also excited to announce the launching of the first-ever Jewish Disability Podcast: B'tzelem Elohim. Rafi hopes to spread a message of Empathy, Inclusion, Awareness, and, Acceptance through his work. Outside of Autism Advocacy; Rafi is the co-president of his shul’s USY Chapter, a regular Torah reader and tefillah leader at synagogue and school, including as the 12th-grade student tefillah coordinator, a Hartman Teen Fellow, a counselor at Ramah Day Camp in Nyack, a managing editor for his school’s newspaper, and, an avid reader of both books and the news.