In Search of Light: A Dispatch from Israel
by Jacki Edry
It's the beginning of the month of Kislev, and Hanukkah, the holiday that symbolizes miracles and the triumph of light over darkness, is approaching. This year, more than many in the past, I am praying that we, Am Israel (the nation of Israel), will experience much more of these in the near future.
I have lived in Israel for many years, and from all that I have seen and experienced here, it's clear to me that our very existence as a flourishing nation defies all odds and logic. It is truly no short of a miracle. In addition, even though we are going through difficult times, I have complete faith that, despite our challenges, G-d will continue to look after us, and we will know better days.
It's been more than a year since the outbreak of war, and the pain we are experiencing is unbearable. Israel is a tiny country, and no family has gone untouched by the ongoing tragedies we are experiencing as a collective family. And, although we are resilient, there is only so much loss and sadness we can bear.
Every day, when I read the news, I am filled with overwhelming mixed emotions: rage, sadness, nausea, disgust, tears, and occasionally, hope. Fortunately, I don't own a television, so I consciously spare myself the pain of watching the footage of the tragedies and atrocities we are experiencing. And every day, all day, I pray for HaShem to bring an end to our sorrows and to bring our hostages back home.
As a country, we are trying to maintain some semblance of resilience and normalcy in this very abnormal situation. But it is challenging to do so, especially when the sirens begin to wail, and we must scramble to the closest safe room while the missiles explode overhead.
It has gotten to the point that even my dogs have learned to bolt to our safe room the minute the sirens go off. And every time I take them on a walk, I must plan my route to enable us to find cover quickly. I always hope they won't panic and try to run away if they get scared.
My kids reside in different parts of the country, so every time the sirens go, we text each other to see if everyone is okay. More than once, my daughter and son were caught on the street and had to dash into a building or stop the car on the side of the road and lay on the ground to take cover while watching the "fireworks" above.
Our youngest son was at school one morning, and there wasn't enough room in the bomb shelter, so he ducked into a stairwell and watched the explosions above through the window. Another day, when walking to school, there were no buildings around him, so he had to take cover in a park and hope for the best. Needless to say, he couldn't concentrate for the rest of the day.
My oldest son is 26 and autistic. He also has limited verbal abilities, so when he hears the sirens, he runs to the safe room and simply says, "Oy, no, sirens." He works in a café in the mornings, and a number of times, the sirens blared early in the morning, and he was afraid to leave the house to start his shift. Then, one day, while he was at work, there was a missile attack, and the entire staff had to run to the nearby supermarket to find shelter. I can't describe how difficult it was to ensure he was okay by writing messages back and forth to him in such a situation.
One of my biggest fears was that there would be a missile attack while he was walking home alone, and then he would be scared and not know how to find cover, even though we had explained to him what he needed to do many times. We knew that it was important for him to continue working, as it would have been worse for his mental health to keep him home for months on end due to a potential attack. We could only do our best to prepare him and ensure he felt as safe as possible, and then let him continue his daily routine. But the situation has been nerve-wracking for all.
Living through this war has kept us on a constant roller-coaster of emotions, making it exceedingly difficult to concentrate on anything for long. It's been a challenge for me to be consistent with my writing or neurodiversity advocacy because my brain and heart feel as if they have been bunged up with the worries, frustration, sadness, and uncertainties the war has brought upon us.
But, as a Jew and an Israeli, I know that I, and we, as a people, have no choice but to do our best to move forward and take care to support and empower each other along the way. It is part of our individual and collective shlichout (mission) as a nation. And, amidst all the pain, this war has enabled us to see the true beauty of the people of our nation (I am referring to the people, Am Israel, not the politicians and media) and how, despite our differences, we go out of our way to support and care for one another in the face of tragedy and conflict. Because Am Israel, in our true form, is a people of light.
G-d willing, our light will grow brighter and stronger throughout our nation and the world during this holiday season and onward, just as the light from the candles of our Hanukkah menorah grows stronger with each passing day of Hanukkah.
I will end these words with a short prayer: May HaShem bless the world with an end to all wars, ongoing peace, and healing, and may He bring about the Geula Shleima b'rachamim, ve b'mehara, a complete, merciful, and speedy redemption for all.
About the author
Jacki Edry published her first book "Moving Forward: Reflections on Autism, Neurodiversity, Brain Surgery, and Faith" in 2021, and shortly after that, she launched her blog. She is a Hampshire College graduate with an extensive background in education, writing, lecturing, and marketing. She has been exploring the world of autism and neurodiversity for over thirty-five years. She has also spent many years advocating for inclusion and educational reform. Her work as a neurodiversity advocate has been recognized worldwide, and in 2023 she was chosen as one of the top 50 Neurodiversity Evangelists by ND by design, powered by Dynamis.
Jacki was born and raised in NY, and upon completion of her studies, she made Aliyah to Israel, where she resides with her husband, children, and dog.
To learn more about Jacki's work and ideas, please visit:
Blog and website: www.jackisbooks.com.
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jacki-edry-7583346/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jackisbooks