In the large Jewish community where I grew up, it was common to hear people wishing each other “a meaningful and easy fast” during those few days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. This still remains a common practice in many of our communities today. While much of our religious practices are based on customs and traditions, however, I would like to boldly suggest we, who have followed this particular custom of concentrating and assuming everyone is fasting for the holiday, take a moment to pause and reflect on what others might be feeling during this situation.
While fasting is a key component to Yom Kippur, one is not allowed to do anything, even a commandment, that will put themselves into physical or psychological harm. When we allow ourselves just a few extra seconds to stop and think before we speak, we can see that by following blindly we are projecting our wishes for ourselves onto others, others whose medical situation we simply cannot and do not know intimately enough to understand how they need to approach this holiday. In that extra moment, we can hopefully start to understand that not only are we making a miscalculation, but we are hurting while our intention is to wish well. We assume and that assumption alienates. In other words, on the very day of Kol Nidre Service, when we invite in the Jew who has been excommunicated from the synagogue to repent, we focus on this specific aspect of Yom Kippur and we miss every other aspect of the day.
I was hospitalized last Yom Kippur and was told that it was, in fact, a mitzvah, a commandment, for me to eat and not fast on that very important day. There are many people who for health reasons cannot, should not, and will not be fasting. There are different ways not to fast on Yom Kippur and a long list of both chronic, and (hopefully) singular situations that make it necessary to eat and drink on Yom Kippur. There are also different ways to break a fast on Yom Kippur. Therefore, ask your doctor and rabbi how you should proceed, in that order.
On the Chabad website there is a prayer in English I wish to share here:
In an ancient Machzor (High Holiday prayer book), it is suggested for an ill person to recite the following prayer before partaking of food on Yom Kippur:
Behold I am prepared to fulfill the mitzvah of eating and drinking on Yom Kippur, as You have written in Your Torah: "You shall observe My statutes and My ordinances, which a man shall do and live by them. I am the L-rd." In the merit of fulfilling this mitzvah, seal me, and all the ill of Your nation Israel, for a complete recovery. May I merit next Yom Kippur to once again fulfill [the mitzvah of] "you shall afflict yourselves [on Yom Kippur]." May this be Your will. Amen.
May we all merit a safe and meaningful Yom Kippur.
Diagnosed with CP, Jason Lieberman is a lifetime disability advocate. He’s part of the Jewish Disability Inclusion News Advisory Board. Jason is a sought-after speaker in the US & abroad, mostly on Judaism & disability. He and his wife and son live in NYC.
From Rabbi Michael Levy, JDIN Advisory Board Member:
WE should not hesitate to wish people a meaningful fast.
Jason comments,
“There are many people who for health reasons cannot, should not, and will not be fasting.”
We have no idea who these people are. Some of them have hidden disabilities or chronic health problems that even their close relatives may not know about.
Leviticus commands “And you shall live by them.” This means that a person who is in any danger of dying because of s/he fasts IS OBLIGATED NOT to fast. Thus, by not fasting, s/he is fulfilling the commandment “and you shall live by them.”
There is a story (I believe true) about Jews during a cholera epidemic in Europe. People were already fainting at Kol Nidre when the fast had just begun. Some people may have died overnight.
The rabbi COMMANDED THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY after Musaf to break their fast. Cholera dehydrates yu.
Nobody would break their fast.
The rabbi himself then consulted his two assistants. They brought out wine and cake.
The rabbi turned to the congregation:
“For my entire adult life I afsted on Yom Kippur. Now, that all may live, I and my assistants WILL BE THE FIRST to stop fasting.
He recited Kiddush, drank the wine, and ate some cake. His assistants joined him.
Everybody ate….ate and cried.
Anyone who has any doubt ABOUT FASTING SHOULD CONSULT HIS/HER RABBI, WHILE THERE IS STILL TIME. The rabbi may request a medical opinion.
We are all united on Yom Kippur, regardless of how we fulfill its precepts. May God grant a year in which His Children remain united with and committed to each other.
We love your perspective, Carey--thank you for sharing!